I got off the train at Farringdon - and in one direction, Liverpool Street had already happened. In the other direction, people were dead and dying in a collapsed tunnel in Kings Cross, merely... half a mile away? Less, I'm presuming.
And yet, there I was, going in search of fresh orange juice on the way to work.
It was astoundingly weird being at work. we were asked not to leave the offices, so had pizza for lunch, brought in by a couple of people (heartburn today). A girl at work (she's alive and non-critical, btw) was on the bus. I didn't really know her but that was a bit of a shock, so all subsequent news reports, of people who have or haven't been in touch since unconcerned phone calls saying "Oh, I'm on a bux, there've been some problems ofn the tubes, i'll be a few minutes late" have been very resonant.
It will feel very strange going in to work on Monday morning. The thing I keep rememberiing is that groups associated with this media invention which is Al Quaida tend to bomb somewhere only once. I don't think we're facing years of IRA style uncertainty here.
i remembered the Kings cross fire today. 31 people died in that. for some reason I'd remembered it as being much more. I didn't live in town at the time, but I passed through it often, going to gigs and the like. I had to come up the escalator on one occasion soon after they'd repaired it. there were still serious scorch marks on the roof, all the way up. the only sound you could hear was the 'Chink, chink' from the change bucket at the top, for the families' appeal fund. No one spoke. and I mean no one. And at the top of the escalator, people literally emptied their pockets of all available money.
It had something to do with being in the same physical spaces as the people who lost their lives. as if, by occupying the same body mass shape as them, the ghosts of that terrible event drenched you.
...and it's going to be the same for anyone taking those tube routes when they open up again.
Now. I can't help but speculate, also, and I suspect that the meaning behind the bombs was not the indiscriminate slaughter of innocents, per se - I think they wanted to cause maximum disruption to the commercial and plotical centre of the UK, and the number of people who died was a shrugged shoulders inevitability.
Anyway. I may be wrong in terms of their motivation. It's not really relevant in any case, now is it.