We had scuttlings, you see. And gnawings. Audible, grunchy type of gnawings.
We didn't do anything about them.
We thought they might go away.
Then, one night, a phut.
The lights flickered, at the same time as the Phut!
Another Phut! The very next night.
The next night: Phut! Phut! Phut!
The Nicest electrician In The World Ever (TM) told us he'd seen it before, many times. Rats. There was nothing he could do until the rats had been killed.
Double arse. Which led us to the position last Friday as soon as Nora had gone down for her afternoon sleep of ripping up the carpet, desperately trying to remove ancient and knackered floorboards without destroying them and seeing, horror of horrors and incredible site. The main electricity cable running from one set of plugs through to another set, and the extension had been gnawed through *completely*. Small white and red flashes buzzed at two points in a black and charred ruin of plastic. Yet no dead bodies strewn about, as we'd expected.
At this point, we had a mild panic, turned the electricity off, called TNEITW (TM) who - and get this, on a bank holiday weekend Friday afternoon, said that he couldn't come over until he'd finished the job he was doing (5-ish) but would come straight over, having sensed the urgency of the situation. What a guy.
So. Nora out of the house with Mummy to the Library for the afternoon and a special treat of tea out, at her favourite cafe while TNEITW comes over and sorts out said wiring for.... £35.
Blimey. There must be a God.
And so I put Noodle to bed, whilst hearing frantic bangings from the front room, where Daddy has been placing several bowls of rat poison below the floorboards, nailing them down and tacking down the carpet.
Since then, we have, yes, heard scrabblings. But they're getting a lot less frequent.
The moral to this story, dear reader, is do not let your wince-y tendencies get in the way of dealing with rats. You'll have to kill them eventually and throw all your vegetarian-friendly tendancies to the high winds, so you might as well do it when they haven't nearly burned down your house.