Aha. She's talking about ladies' stuff. Ew.
So here's the deal. I've been on the pill for about a year and a half now. In the first few months I was having 2 periods a month, which was a bit annoying but I assumed it would take a little time to sort itself out and my body to adjust to a new rhythm. And it sort of, kinda did settle down a little bit.
When I had to go on two lots of antibiotics recently - one of which being a massive dose, the pill went totally haywire and hasn't returned my body to any sense of normality since. I went about 11 weeks with no period (and two sets of slightly panicked pregnancy tests during that time) then, starting from the week we went camping, which let's not forget, was the beginning of August, I've had *three* periods, the most recent of which is verging on a frickin' haemorrage, or that's what it feels like. A *huge* amount of energy sapping blood has just been evacuating my body in the last three days. And by 'blood' women will recognise the different between pure, watery blood and the gloopy heavy stuff that one associates with periods. Really freaky, unnerving stuff. Nearly went for an emergency doc appointment this morning but have stopped taking the pill (obviously) and am hoping it's going to calm down. I'm slightly nervous about anaemia.
So back to the docs shortly to say "What else can you give me" but I am *very* wary of the pill indeed now.
Is there any other reason I'd be losing blood? Ooh, a bit freaked out by the thoughts that occur after asking that question, but the fact is, I've also got awful abdominal cramp / dragging pain so it's pretty much menstruation related.
Lastly on this subject, it is extremely rare that women (at least on blogs that I read) will ever talk about periods for any reason. I have always found it desperately annoying that over 50% of the population at one time or another has to put up with this most annoying sign of fertility and yet it remains ludicrously taboo. It would certainly not be polite on Twitter to comment "Christ, I have bad period pains this morning". THe perpetrator of such a crime would come off as a rabid feminist-loon. And yet, the taboo nature of the discussion means that when one buys Tampax at a petrol station at 4 in the morning (thanks for that), the chap says "Would you like a little bag for that"? What? It's a single box! I think I'm capable of holding it. Ah, but the it would be 'on show' wouldn't it. I'm not griping at the bloke, as such. More the ridiculous taboo that makes the subject so awkward. If we could, please, just talk about it a little more and accept it as normal, then maybe newsagents in train stations would be able to stock emergency supplies. There's a terrible sin of omission in the utter lack of women's sanitary product' availability in train stations, leaving one to, in emergency situations, stuff a load of tissue artfully up the chuff. Not desirable. Very occasionally, when changing one's used equipment at home, the aforementioned equipment is left by the loo instead of being put in the bin. Until I berated my beloved about it, he used to discuss that in terms which denoted the whole concept as utterly disgusting. It's not disgusting. It's not! Shitting in the bath is disgusting. Leaving one's tampax on a folded piece of tissue and forgetting to plonk it in a bin is so far from disgusting, it's just 'a bit annoying'.
And a small related word on that topic. If the concept of periods is treated as 'disgusting', then we, women, are forced in to a position of apology, or even, bizarrely, shamefulness about this entirely natural, normal, everyday phenomena. That, my friends is the fucking left over superstitious crap of the stone age, and "aaargh!" would be my final (if somewhat stone age and strangulated) comment on that, through simple inability to adequately express how angry that makes me. IT IS NORMAL. How many more years of human development do we have to go through before when we say we're not feeling well, we can just say, comfortably, "I've got hellish period pain" to person X, be they men, women, friend or stranger?
Anyway. So. Be normal about periods and mention them if they're on your mind, to women or men. That's what I think. And meanwhile, I've stopped taking the pill.
...but don't expect new small humans from my body any time soon.