You know the part when you are very overtired and you feel like bursting in to tears and letting it all wash out because you just-can't-take-it-any-more?
I have a habit of putting song titles / album titles in to these subject headings.
It also seems a bit pretentious to me to have a subject heading for one's entry. P'raps I should just start randomly going through the alphabet and say any old rubbish there. Or stick to song titles (see how hip or unhip Cait is! See how she defines herself against the music she is willing to admit to liking!).
So. Back to the usuals:
Ok, look. Everything's alright, that's the most important thing.
For detail, read on:
I thought there was something wrong when I went to the loo just now.
I'm thankful I'm at home.
Not going to be updating for a while, methinks.
In it to win it.
Realised this morning that I'm slightly afraid of Sundays in this condition, given that Sunday is when I miscarried last time.
Up My Street is in administration. This is a terrible awful thing to happen for so many reasons. Primarily it affects some of my best friends, and that's more important than anything, the job market being as it is.
I spent the morning volunteer moderating on the open (ie: no registration required) post-moderated forums on F... (cough) where I work. Never have I seem such a parade of miserable racism. If anything, the action being post-moderated allows a forum (albeit hopefully brief) for those whose voices are rarely heard in the media. Reactionary (in the true sense of the word) people whose emotional response to a situation is to find an easy answer - an easy villain. In this case it seems to be all Muslims. Moslems. Towel heads. Pakis. asylum seekers. These are the search words used to try and get these messages off the forum.
Had the progesterone test (I ended up thinking: why wait around here? Get an emergency appointment), the results of which won't be back for at least a few days (groan).
I've started taking a dispersible aspirin a day to help prevent clotting (along with all my other pregnancy tested keep-well pills), and we just have to get through to next Tuesday to see the Doc. Who I noticed today is also up the duff.
Now, I promise I'll start doing "blog" stuff and link to other sites and all of that sort of thing I'm supposed to do. I promise. You'll just have to bear with me whilst I go through the extreme paranoia stage.
Oh yes. I'll more than likely go see the herbalist from Fresh and Wild at some point this week too, but he wants to see the results of the progesterone test too before diagnosing. What he did say, which contradicted everything I'd heard before, is that Agnus Castus is a relatively good miscarriage avoider. But I don't know how much I should be taking, so I'm not going to go straight back to it (I'll explain all my herbs stuff some other time). It does worry me though that here I am, taking all these hormone regulator herbs, then the moment I know I'm knocked up, wham, I stop taking all of them. If that doesn't cause some hormonal upset, I don't know what will.
Alright already, time to now pretend I just got back from the Doctors and do some work!
Just one parting shot. It's still astounding to me, having one's life whipped up by this "thing", and everything, everything becomes about it, somehow. In a way it's depressing. Can't I just shrug my shoulders and get on with my life? Am I this much of a pregnancy zombie? Well it appears so. I'm not sure I like it. Time to try and take things gently.