Something else!

Back to life, or alternatively: Aardvark

I have a habit of putting song titles / album titles in to these subject headings.

It also seems a bit pretentious to me to have a subject heading for one's entry. P'raps I should just start randomly going through the alphabet and say any old rubbish there. Or stick to song titles (see how hip or unhip Cait is! See how she defines herself against the music she is willing to admit to liking!).

So. Back to the usuals:

Alright. Doctor's appointment yesterday.

I just want to say, by the way - there is not a lot of point talking about Monday. It was absolutely dire, so I'd rather just pick myself up again, if you see what I mean.

Right. Yes. Blood tests.

Talking to the Doc yesterday it became clear that the blood test for Progesterone was almost a complete waste of time since the Doc can't tell anything more by the "Normal" result they got back than I can. This is so crass. They knew I was pregnant and they knew the circumstances, the Nurse *should have written that stuff on the god damn test*. So now I'm stuck with in all probability going back to the Acute Gynae Clinic tomorrow morning at 8am and having *another* fucking test, which will take up to a fucking week to come through. This is THE crucial time as I don't have to remind you. Jesus. Incompetence is not what I need right now.

A different blood test will be needed tomorrow at Parkside, the private hispital in Wimbledon. I have bad memories of this place - the Gynae I saw there when I was knocked out and terribly ill with PCOS (when we first realised what was going on) had the bedside manner of a horse. He absolutely refused to believe that my left ovary gave me pains, and told me it was IBS. No, mate, I know what IBS feels like, this is ovary pain. "There is no evidence of pain with PCOS". Oh really? Perhaps you could tell me why in the last few months I have been unable to walk with crunching agonising lower back pain on the days I'm ovulating from my left ovary? Twat.

Er, anyway. So the reason I'm going private is to get this blood test done on my er... clotting profile (is nearly the right terminology). It's a test I should have had done absolutely ages ago and I was too scared (I think. I kept just forgetting about it by accident). So basically - actually, did I write an aside about this? Yes, kind of. So now's the time when I absolutely-have-to-know if I have got this genetic blood clotting "thing". If I have, then joy of joys, it appears that whilst I'm pregnant I'm going to have regular injections to thin my blood. This will mean that the birth will have to be in hospital given that I'll be pouring forth the red stuff like there's no tomorrow. This saddens me a great deal so I hope if only for that reason that this doesn't happen. On a personal level I'm not exactly over the moon at the prospect of having to inject myself regularly but what I want isn't really the point at issue right now.

Sooooo the damn test results will apparently take a week. Which is absolutely terrible news (I thought what with it being private they'd come through quicker). Terrible for several reasons: a) Every day is "horror", frankly, with these variables still hanging over my head. Particularly as we reach mid-week and we're pushing in to week 7 next week which is the time most miscarriages happen, and b) I'm going to San Jose - well, San Francisco in the first instance on *Friday* next week, so I'm going to have to make a tentative appointment with a Haematologist bang on Thursday, which I will then have to cancel (and presumably therefore pay for) on Thursday itself, just in case I need to get a load of stuff sorted out before I go.

Just what I need - stress and more stress. *Plus* I have realised that because my health insurance with work doesn't pay for anything reproductive, if I were to need medical help pronto in the US (there's always the possibility of saving a miscarriage, y'see) then I'll need to pay for my own medical insurance on top of this anyway. Which is a bit of a fucking waste of my money. Very annoying.

So, having got all of that out of my head and on to paper I feel a bit better. I dread to think what this must all look like to "Person X" if they survive all of this, 20 years from now. Hey you - offspring person - just look at how much hassle and worry you're putting me through already, and you haven't even been born yet! (Only joking, I love you really).