So. I am now calmer... a bit

And, I fully intend to put in some things that aren't about the state of my paranoia in this ongoing episode.

Anyway. The test this morning made me feel a lot calmer. I'm actually doing something, which helps a great deal. Perhaps it's just the reality of it sinking in. I seemed to be able to work today.

I also told my boss. Not my immediate boss - she's on holiday for another 2 weeks so I werritted about it and thought, well if something happened in the next 2 weeks, I would need him to understand what was going on. So I did. And he was pretty cool, in fact.

So I ended up bringing Warren in to my "Circle of strength" (as opposed to Axis of evil). He was as ever a man of few words. But good ones. The circle of strength so far then consists of: Cherie, Yoz, Fiona, Danny, Anita and Warren.

Warren is a comics writer who is in that slightly unusual way, a friend entirely on the internet. I look after his mailing list. Well, lovely James set it up but at my badgering. Anyway, Warren's one of these mad ideas-a-holics and also has a puckish sense of nonsense. He has a tendency to drag you along in to things. Which ellicits much grinning along the way.

He also suggested that I call Sprog "Blind Lemon". Which was the first time I'd really thought of it being something that might happen. But I can't allow myself to think that.

In other news, Mackay has to go on jury service in Croydon crown court. This is a little strange. Monkey meanwhile is lying like a stretched out cat-carpet on the floor, and I must wash my hair.

One small other observation: this is in the "day to day" observations department. Because of what happened last year, I am now very nervous every time I go to the loo for 2 reasons. 1) Looking through slightly closed eyes at the bog paper to see if there is any blood on it (I know, I know - but this is what happened last year, you see), and 2) Ok, you will laugh, but straining to have a crap - it worries the hell out of me! I'd rather wait for everything to exude of it's own accord right now!

Heh. A bit over cautious? I have no idea.

Ok. War links.

Oh fuck it, I can't bear it. I also can't bear that I'm not constantly wearing a "Not in my name" tshirt, or fucking neon sign above my head. Therefore I would like to know where I can get a dove badge I can wear constantly. JUst a small fucking message. Just something saying "I object to this".