A new record.
Seven days without going to the loo.
God knows what will happen. She's intermittently really fed up now. Every so often she squeals out in real crying for a few seconds. Not nice. Luckily she's now back on the food ie: stewed fruit. It's only been a couple of days she's really been swallowing, but - that's still at least 4 meals worth. Small meals, but meals all the same.
So where it is all? Pretty soon she's going to run out of colon.
That's a bit too much of an oblique reference to the REM song.
My love is stirring in her bed. We're dropping nightfeeds in a couple of days. About a week ago we switched from Mackay giving her a bottle (too wakeful - she spent an hour and a half awake one night to me breastfeeding her and not changing her, so it's quick, she's half asleep, she nuzzes and it's all over in twenty minutes. The feed has been pushed forward over the last month from midnight to ten o'clock where it is now, and she's just ready to drop it. She can barely wake for it and face it, if we didn't wake her, she would sleep through till dawn, which is what we want her to do! She's a great sleeper. She just zonks out and occasionally wakes early wth strange dreams but only by about an hour at best.
And I was looking down tonight, about half an hour ago, at her small, calm, sleeping face, her lips pursed and me kissing the gentle, soft tender skin of her fingers as she lay on her feeding pillow against me, and felt a crushing melancholy weight of intense love. I hope in her life she can keep some of the loveliness she has in her semi-wakened personality now. The way she laughs and really hardly ever is upset (grizzly, yes, but it's so rare to hear the "nunng nunng nunng" of her crying). The way she touches my face, as if she's trying to read it. The way she today looked quietly at me with eyes wide through the whole of the reading of the three billy goats gruff... I've never loved anyone as much in my life. Every second she's here is a gift.
Yeah, yeah, remind me of this when she's a teenage pregnant heroin addict.
So she's feeding.
Sitting in her chair in the kitchen (natch), clutching her own spoon and enthusiastically stuffing it in to her mouth. In between times, I spoon babyrice, which gently becomes more fruity, then less baby-ricey, then no-babyricey and completely pear-y and she grins back her daft, cheesey smile, pear drooling down her chin.
Who knew?
Nora is bored.
She's bored with the house. Bored with the playgym. Bored with everything, except going outside, meeting people or practicing standing up. Boredom shows itself by a rising level of sqealing and sqeaking if you put her down or stop talking to her for more than two minutes.
Hmmmmmm.
Today however, a new distraction. A Door bouncer, in which Nora's dainty feet delicately felt for the floor and for a few minutes she got the gist of bouncing. Then it got boring.
Aaaargh! (but so worth it to see her dainty feet testing out the ground, toes first, ballet style).
Nora's laughing has now become much more pronounced. It's relatively easy for me to set her up so she will emit a stupendous series of bubbly, staccato belly laughs, arching her far-too-skinny back forward as she looks at me with sparkling eyes full of joy. It leaves me craving more smiles, more laughter. Better than heroin, that's certain. Bouncing on the bed, or more accurately, me bouncing my arms on the bed and her jiggling between them is a ready source of amusement, as is my pretending to not be about to eat her up, then quickly nuzzling and grizzling into her shoulder.
On the far too skinny front, I didn't mention but her weight has gone down in growth rate terms from the 40th percentile to below the 9th. It doesn't take long to work out just how incredibly worried that makes me. It also doesn't take longer than 2 minutes with Nora to realise that she couldn't care less about it. Still, I'm shovelling her milk that she hasn't eaten back to her as fast as I can.
In other news, there are some more photos, primarily from Spain including this gorgeous pic - the first one of her smiling. I can't believe it took that long, she smiles at everything.
Discussion, maybe? the only time there's ever been a real ongoing discussion on this was when I said blogs were just online diaries!
So Nory started ok, but since the baby rice in Spain (smiling, gurgling, swallowing... positive, positive, positive) it's gone from Apple... not sure; carrot - quite nice, swede: fuck off! Anything given to me on a spoon - rejection.
Rejection, rejection, rejection. Then, I think, try to give her banana just on my finger? Yesssss kind of works. Mackay tries the same with the carrot (plenty of milk in) and again, tongue acts as a sentry, and given that the only way to get food in is to force it, I elect to not give her solids if it's going to upset her.
So you start solids at 16 weeks? Well, not according to Dr Sears.
Ah... now I must go and do the night breastfeed! I'll come back to this one but I'm very interested in hearing other weaning / solids experiences. Katie? Tom? Danny? Barney?
Handily, the Antibiotic I was given yesterday contains the following message in the advice leaflet:
"The use of this medicine by nursing mothers may lead to sensitisation, diarrhoea, fungal infections (such as thrush) and skin rashes in the infant".
I was so tired yesterday and in so much pain I just swallowed the bloody things as soon as they arrived. Flucloxacillin, 500mg. A high dose.
So.
Reading the leaflet this morning I went totally ballistic, and of course felt very angry with myself for not looking up the antibiotic myself on the net, which I always do, because you never know, sometimes. And there I am thinking "that proves it, doctors are not to be trusted" etc, etc. When I phoned up the emergency docs again I got all the information I needed to make a serious complaint, as well as got an alternative prescription for Amoxycillin, which is now waiting for me at a local chemist.
Sigh of relief? Well. Here goes the net research:
1) Net doctor.co.uk: "This medicine passes into breast milk in small amounts that are unlikely to be harmful to the nursing infant. However, as with all medicines it should be used with caution in breastfeeding mothers, and only if the expected benefit outweighs any possible risk. Seek further medical advice from your doctor."
2) The Breastfeeding Network: Antibiotics safe to take during lactation: Flucloxacillin, Floxapen, 250-500mg four times a day one hour before food.
3) The Lactation Resource centre: Amoxycillin, plain penicillin and other antibiotics are often ineffective for mastitis. If you need an antibiotic, you need one which is effective against Staphylococcus aureus. Effective for this bug are: cephalexin, cefaclor, cloxacillin, flucloxacillin, amoxycillin-clavulinic acid, clindamycin and ciprofloxacin. The last two are effective for mothers allergic to penicillin. You can and should continue breastfeeding with all these medications.
Ayeayeayeeeeee
Lessons learned are: well. One lesson learned. Do the bloody research first. By the way, that last link has some stunningly good and by definition stunningly horrible mastitis information in it. Thank GOD there are no pictures.
I'm so tired I'm shaking, but nevertheless it's pointless going to bed for 40 minutes (I'd never wake up) before Nory's next feed so I'll surf mindlessly for once...
It appearts that the LA Department of water and power will give you a free tree for your back yard. Or front garden. Or something.
So I'm beginning to think the almighty LA living "they" are being pretty serious about this film. Jon Malkovich is now attached to the project. A new character. New! DNA messing with his own universe, apparently. And Sam Rockwell is Zaphod Beeblebrox. Hmmmmm. He seems a little young. I aways thought of Zaphod as being in his forties. A bit clapped out really, but too hung up on the lifestyle to quit. But, Sam Rockwell can be very funny and has amazing presence so whadooayeknow.
Mastitis.
It hurts.
It hurts more breastfeeding with it.
That on top of continued toothache from my destroyed teeth. And no paracetamol in the house, I've just discovered. Life is peachy!
Looking Nora Jessie Mackay in the eye on a near minutely basis as I do, I am like all parents, compelled to call her smidgeness pet names and nicknames. Here is a list of everything that she is called thus far:
Nora
Nory
Nory Dory
Noo
Messy Messer
Missy Moo
Missy Muggins
Moose
Noodle
Nory Noodle
Nory Noo
"Noo" seems to be winning thus far, and has not been extended to "Noo Noo" which would be a name I would call a chihuahua.