A screwed up view of 'gayness'
January 18, 2010
The sub-editors chose a wonderful headline for this: "The day I decided to stop being gay". Which if it is a representation of the article is a miserable statement to make, falling right in to the hands of the religious right. Y'see, it's abnormal! See? Even gay men want to not be gay!
Sigh. When asked, I will wax vitriolic about the lack of understanding - or rather, public acceptance by all 'communities' involved that sexual behaviour seems to be represented in terms of a continuum with two extremes, which are entirely heterosexual, and entirely homosexual - with most people milling about in the middle, moving up and down the line depending on times in their lives, or the people that they meet.
So this article in fact describes a man who:
-Made the mistake of labeling himself, as if he was only 'allowed' to fancy one sex, thus precluding the possibility that he might in fact fancy people rather than sexes
-Suddenly one day had a moment of lucid realisation that he missed, and desired the unconditional and uncomplicated love between a parent and their child
...neither of which add up to anyone 'stopping' being gay. The only reason I mention this article at all is because I remain sad that there are barely any visible role models who are confidently bi-sexual. Indeed, anyone who genuinely is bi-sexual tends to talk it down, given that the word is generally associated with a louche, sexualised "screw anything that moves" lifestyle. Robert Downey Junior seems to be the only 'mainstream' personality who seems relatively happy to talk about it.
Understanding that you don't fancy an individual gender but that you fancy 'People' is horrifically confusing as a child/young adult. I remember genuinely being in love with friends who were girls, without realising what was going on, whilst still pursuing teenage shags with appropriate blokes. I wish the mainstream media would approach things in less black and white terms. Love anyone, love everyone! Although, my advice would be not to attempt the latter all at once.